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Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
Grandma says that when God made me, He was just showing off
Grant me patience to deal with my blessings
I can resist anything except temptation
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks!
If you pray for rain, be prepared for some mud
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened
Laughter is the closest distance between two people – Victor Borge
The house isn’t under construction – children live here
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!
You know you are over the hill when happy hour means nap time